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Avocados and the end of the world as we know it


by Anthonette Klinkerman

That REM song with the lyrics, “It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine”, was a great party tune. If there was ever a more appropriate song for the beginning of 2009, I don’t know what it could be.

All the gloom and doom about this brand-spanking new year… Oddly, I feel fine. Things are not perfect in my world, but compared to what they could be, it is pretty darned close.

Reading the morning paper lately becomes an exercise in how much bad news you can stomach. As if everything we Americans already know is in dire straights, the New Year’s Day paper reported a drop in the avocado supply. Well, cancel Superbowl, folks. Your chips with, say, hummus, just ain’t gonna cut it.

Enough is enough. Next we’ll be hearing about a decline in the production of Q-tips.

I liken this experience to being a new mother. It starts when you foolishly decide to announce your pregnancy. People crawl out of the woodwork with pregnancy and labor horror stories. Each baby book you read contradicts the last one, and everything you’re doing, eating, breathing is wrong anyway.

After a while, you close the books and go about your business. And everything turns out okay.

Men, most of you disregard advice anyway, so you’re already off to a good start.

This philosophy helps in viewing the mess we’re in as a nation. Pick and choose the worthy information, and discard the rest. Studies prove you’ll actually be healthier for doing so.

It remains a factor of how we react. Running out of the house screaming after each news broadcast makes no sense, although on more than one occasion I’ve been tempted. It would only serve to panic the neighbors’ already skittish dogs.

I have power over giving worldwide misery company or not. I choose not. There’s an “off” button on the TV. I can rein in my focus and concentrate on my community, a smaller world where I’m more likely to effect change.

Granted, I have things pretty good, mostly because I learned early on the difference between a “need” and a “want”. I “need” laundry soap; I “want” a front-loading replica of R2D2 in my laundry room.

I have a positive attitude that 2009 is not going to be anything like seemingly everyone is predicting. If it IS anything like people are predicting, I’ll keep a lookout for the locusts and protect my avocados.

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