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Etiquette of the party exit

Graphic of Thoroughly Modern Manners
Dear Readers,

“I used to sneak out of my house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go to my house.”

Let’s have a little chat about the etiquette of the party exit. I recently hosted a gathering, a fun, casual and raucous affair when I noticed a guest leaving without saying, “Thank you,” or “Goodbye.” Readers, you cannot imagine my incredulity! This was not a chaotic dance party where everyone was on the floor jamming out to the ‘80s. It was a small, dare I say, intimate house party.

I think we need to talk about how to leave a party politely and why we sometimes ghost. I was raised that you never leave a party without saying goodbye and that it is best not to leave a party while everyone is still having fun, but that is not the current convention.

It is fun to arrive, to say hello and to enjoy the party, but we all know the goodbye is a bummer. It represents the end of an evening or event. The new edict is that it is more rude to interrupt the merriment than it is to forgo the farewell.

In other words, let the party, party! Even Mrs. Abramovitz has to appreciate the new way. The truth is, the host probably won’t even notice that you’ve left. The birthday girl has thrown enough air kisses. The bride is thrilled you enjoyed yourself. We can free ourselves from this uncomfortable, good-time dampening construct.

If slipping out the door still feels like a breach in etiquette, then send a note, text, or email the next morning. It can double as a thank you for a great time.

But wait, although ditching the host might work at a larger affair, this cannot stand at a dinner party or small gathering. Don’t even try it.

Big Love,
Mrs. Abramovitz




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