Support for single moms in the community
By Lynne Marsala Basche
No one enters a marriage with the intention of getting divorced, but if that day comes, it is hard to know how to navigate the process. Friends and family can provide support, but unless they have gone through it, they cannot relate. When Castle Pines resident Carolyn Blue found herself navigating the tricky waters of divorce, she wondered if there were other single moms in the community who could benefit from each others’ experiences.
Blue established a new routine for her and her 8-year-old daughter as things settled down, and the chaos in her head began to clear. While finding her new normal, Blue felt emotions like loneliness mixed with the excitement of her future. No matter her mood, Blue noticed the demographic of Castle Pines was mainly families and, at times, she found it isolating as a divorced woman.
With no knowledge that anyone in the community was experiencing what she was, Blue took a chance and posted messages on Next Door and her Facebook page asking about interest in joining a single mom support group. Blue received 29 responses in a few days, and 10 people participated in the first meeting in February.
The women ranged in ages and stages of the divorce process, and no one knew each other, but, according to Blue, they exhibited a tremendous amount of compassion and empathy for what others were experiencing. All of the women are professionals who either continued to work after having children or rejoined the workforce due to their new situations and have children between the ages of five and 13.
The first meeting was spent getting to know one another and defining what they wanted and needed from the meetings. The group determined each session would have structure and a topic to discuss with a goal of healing and moving forward in a safe environment. The women also agreed meetings would not be an opportunity to rehash the negative parts of any marriage or ex-spouse.
Blue believes a benefit of the group is that everyone is at a different stage with some women beginning the process and others divorced for several years. “Women can see what others have gone through, as well as what they can expect,” said Blue.
“We all want and need pretty much the same things, no matter if you’re married or if you’re single: community, support, advice and connection,” said Blue. “Everyone had something to offer, and everyone had something to take.”
To heal, people need support, and Blue found a way to connect women in the community and fill a need. For more information or to learn more about possibly joining the group, contact Blue at firstname.lastname@example.org.